Kiss & Tell

Dating, romance, and social anxiety

I hope everyone had a terrific Valentine’s Day (or Galentine’s Day, for my fellow “Parks and Recreation” fans). It’s a natural time of year to talk about romance, but that subject has been on my mind for another reason. Last month, the Celiac Center at Columbia University’s Medical Center hosted a symposium about quality of life for gluten-intolerant people. It was an excellent — and eye-opening — event. I’ll be referencing several of the presentations over the next few weeks, but this is a great time to talk about dating and romance.

The news from the Celiac Center was not great, particularly for those in the 23-to-35 age group.

Their social anxiety levels were sky-high. Two-thirds of the celiacs surveyed in that cohort said that they thought about food “often” or “always,” and one-third met the clinical definition for depression. Female respondents in particular reported that they struggled with explaining their dietary needs in public settings.

The fallout from this anxiety affects romantic relationships in different ways. It made many people in the survey nervous about dating at all. Others deliberately ate gluten on dates so that they could avoid revealing that they have celiac disease. A small percentage believes that it’s necessary for their partner to follow a gluten-free diet for them to be in a relationship in the first place.

I can’t lie: I found these results unsettling. My own quality of life before my celiac diagnosis was not great: I had migraines, anemia, ulcers, hypoglycemia, and other problems. Being diagnosed cleared up everything but the anemia in a short space of time. For me, the diagnosis led to a dramatic improvement in my quality of life, and my husband, my family, and my friends have been incredibly supportive. But the Celiac Center data shows that a lot of people lack a strong support system. We absolutely need to talk more about these quality of life issues.

So let’s talk romance… which also means addressing social anxiety!